“Love, being in love, isn’t a constant thing. It doesn’t always flow at the same strength. It’s not always like a river in flood. It’s more like the sea. It has tides, it ebbs and flows. The thing is, when love is real, whether it’s ebbing or flowing, it’s always there, it never goes away. And that’s the only proof you can have that it is real, and not just a crush or an infatuation or a passing fancy.”—Aidan Chambers, This Is All: The Pillow Book of Cordelia Kenn (via aspun)
For those of you who do not know, I am a Library Science/Education major. I am in my 3rd year of college,&tomorrow I begin my student teaching.
Can I tell you a secret? I am a total wreck about starting student teaching tomorrow.
A total mess. I don’t feel like I can do it.
I am not smart enough. For example, I am horrible a remembering little facts, like what year World War II started. I don’t remember stuff like that. I am a librarian&therefore if I ever want to know something I know where to look it up&I do just that.
I mean I guess I am smart. I mean I’ve taken 123 credits in college and my Q.P.A. is at a 3.8 right now. I don’t feel like I have really learned anything in college though, I mean in education&library science if you show up&put effort into assignments&class, you get an A.
I just don’t feel like I am prepared for this experience yet&I will not lie, I am so scared.
I am scared of failing. I am scared of people not wanting to hire me. I am scared of screwing up a child’s education. I am scared of not graduating.
I just don’t want to mess this up, it is such a big deal&I want to succeed so badly but I don’t feel like I can.
Tomorrow&the next 16-ish weeks are going to be very long&very stressful. I hope I do well&I hope I don’t fail miserably.
I am just so nervous. I feel like I am going to throw up&I am probably never sleeping tonight. I need to be brave, I need to have courage, I’m just not sure where to find that right now.
&this is only the surface of everything I am feeling regarding tomorrow. I’m just freaking out&I guess you guys don’t really know me but I generally do not freak out about anything. I’m like really chill about almost everything in my life. So basically, this is a really big deal.
Pray for me or something, even if you don’t know me. ha. please?(: